Bleacher Beast 2011 Fall Semester

2 09 2011

Welcome to another year at the Bleacher Beast.

With a new “semester” upon us, much will be going on here, so, here’s what you can expect.

It seems like things have gotten a little soft around here, but that’s about to change.  Back are the rants, raves and complete rage about everything sports related.  Whether it’s EPL, MLB, NHL, NCAA Football or the NFL, if it’s gotten under our skin, we’re going to sound off.

Aside from that, you’ll find that our fall schedule will balance the anger out just as tad.


NCAA Football

Mondays: A preview of the best upcoming college football games of the week.

Saturdays: Our picks, plus an upset special (for all you gamblers out there)

Sundays: Our Top 25 selections, BCS Bowl projections



The playoff picture will be addressed as we approach the postseason.

During the playoffs, you will get analysis and predictions all the way to the World Series.




Class is in session starting Monday September 5th.


The MLB Post-Season Prediction Bandwagon: Vol. One

11 08 2010

I really don’t know what to make of this. Talk about a pipe dream, or, maybe a dream that came from a night of hitting the pipe? Who knows. Either way this article found at the link below is definitely a wacky, out of control read. I really hope this is the MLB’s attempt at a practical joke.

MLB.COM Columnist Playoff Predictions

If you don’t want to read the full article, then please allow me to give you a rapid fire summary of Mr.  Castrovince’s Predictions:

American League- the Yankees win the East (a no brainer), the Minnesota Twins yet again play a 163 game season, this time outlasting the White Sox to take the Central, the Rangers hold off the A’s and Angels in the West and the Rays snag the wild card.

National League- Atlanta takes the East, the Reds out muscle the Cardinals for the Central crown, but St. Louis settles for the wild card, and finally, the Padres win the West.

Playoffs- in the A.L. the Yanks over the Twins, Texas fall to the Rays, Rays head to the World Series by beating New York.

The National League sends the Padres to the fall classic after they oust the Reds in the NLDS and then out pitch the Cards in championship series.

World Series- Rays over the Padres in seven games.

Wait… What?

I’m sorry, but come again?

The Padres to out-pitch the Cardinals? Seriously?

Latos is no Carpenter, Wainwright has way more depth than Correia, and LeBlanc couldn’t hold a candle to the likes of any of St. Louis’ bottom half of the rotation.

Now, that doesn’t mean I’m slotting the Cards in the World Series, no. I’m just saying the Padres are in no way going to make it that far, and I’ll even go as far as saying they probably won’t make it to the post-season. Sorry, Padres fans.

I pray to the baseball gods that we don’t have to endure a smurfs vs. army men World Series. God, I hate those stupid, hideous powder blue Rays jerseys.

My (sensible) Playoff Predictions:

American League:

The New York Yankees have stronger bats than the Rays and the return of Andy Pettitte should help bolster the rotation. C.C., Hughes, A.J and Andy will lead the way for the Yankees A.L. East crown.

Fear not Rays fans, a wild card berth puts you in the post-season. Don’t get too comfy though.

Texas will continue to heat up from here on out, and the Angels and A’s don’t have the pitching or heavy bats to challenge the explosive Rangers.

No game 163 in the Central this year. Twins take the title again. Liriano and Pavano lead the way.

ALDS:  Twins get out pitched (again) by the Yankees, and the Rangers lead by Lee, Wilson and the Tommy (Hunter) Gun make quick work of the Rays. Blame it on Upton.

ALCS: Yankees battle hard to seven games against the Rangers, but the resilient Cliff Lee gets sweet revenge against the Yankees. Nolan Ryan gets a quick return on his investment. Sell now, Nolan, sell quick, sell high.

National League:

Phillies put together one massive charge to the playoffs lead by Halladay and Utley. Cue the return of a missing teammate come playoff time though.

St. Louis wins a tight one in the Central by no more than two games. Hold your heads up, Reds fans, you’re playoff bound, too.

Let’s not sell ourselves short and buy into this ridiculous idea that the Padres have a better team than the Giants. We all know this is the year of the pitcher, so, let’s continue this trend. Take the “Freak” and Zito to hold it down for the bay area faithful.

NLDS: Phillies dodge the Cards in the first round, and instead, draw Cincinnati. Philly manages to slip by the Reds in five games thanks to the return to form of Cole Hamels. Hands down, this could be the best playoff series of the year.

The Cardinals rotation may be scary, but, so is Tim Lincecum. However, Jake Westbrook could prove his worth here. Cliff Lee v2.0? Probably.

NLCS:  Phillies over the Cardinals.

World Series: Texas Rangers vs. Philadelphia Phillies. This might be the biggest, and most entertaining championship series in the history of the MLB.  Halladay/Hamels/Oswalt/Moyer vs. Lee/Hunter/Harden/Wilson… Yeah, I’m going four man rotation here. It’s the World Series. It’s expected.

I won’t pick it. This is a piece of art. I just want to sit and admire it.

(Okay, the Phillies.  But I want to see it go the distance and get a dramatic 13th-inning win in game seven.  Pushing it?  Whatever.  We all have dreams)

Hey, at least this is a tad more realistic than a Padres vs. Rays World Series, right?

In the pre-season, I had the Phillies over the Yankees in the 2010 World Series.  Just a tad alteration here and there, and voila.  I’m sure come October, I’ll have three more of these “predictions” articles out.  Hopefully not though.

Only in the state of Florida…

19 07 2010

Today as I enjoyed the scenery on my way to Tampa, I began to notice a lot of things that the state of Florida has to offer.

Sights that included signs for injury and accident lawyers every quarter-mile, beer and comedic divorce ads all along the highway, a bar on what seems to be every intersection or so with the promise of ice-cold beer, and even a billboard promoting vasectomy procedures. Oh, how I love the wonders of this state.

But, during my travels, I also picked up a new found understanding of the sports picture in this state.

Here’s what I’ve gathered:

Only in the state of Florida…

…could the greatest threesome in the history of sports…no, wait, in the history of the WORLD be assembled. No, I’m not talking about the “Despicable Three”, I’ll leave the for later; no, I’m talking about Tim Tebow, Urban Meyer and… God. Okay, God may have etched his name in the history books thousands of years ago, but, Tebow and Meyer might as well be considered Gods and are quite frankly the biggest things in Florida next to the egos of the Heat players.

…could that orange-slice looking stadium be built. If the Leaning Tower of Pisa came to Florida and had a drunken one-night stand with an orange tree, Tropicana Field would be the ugly offspring of such an event.

…could the Tampa Bay Rays be the biggest thing next to the Gators when talking about sports. Forget about the Lightning, and even the Marlins, no, it’s all about the Rays.


How does that work?

The Heat won an NBA title, the Bolts won the Stanley Cup in 2003-2004, Hell, the Marlins should be considered the state’s best professional team after winning not one, but two World Series titles (1997 and 2003) yet, they take a backseat to the Rays? Is this a joke?


Hey, Florida, let me remind you that the Rays are 0-1 in World Series appearances, and the Marlins are 2-0. What’s going to happen when the Marlins make the playoffs in the future? Is everyone going to suddenly become fans of the fish?

Plus, do you have any idea how hard it is to find Marlins apparel? What’s sad is that there’s no Marlins gear, yet, I came across Cardinals, Twins and even Padres jerseys. Where’s the support?

…does such a flop-show like the University of South Florida Bulls get any recognition. Honestly, I consider the North Carolina Tar-Heels’ football program more legit than the USF’s.

…could three egotistical, maniacal, despicable athletes call home. Yeah, it’s your time to shine, Mr. LeWade Bosh.

Hold on, where did all these Heat fans come from?

I remember in the 2007-2008 season when the fans were so ashamed of the Heat and couldn’t bear to support their team when they were down in the dumps? Yeah, remember that 15-67 season?  I do.

Or how the Heat “fans” converted to Orlando fans because the Magic were somewhat decent, the franchise was on their way up, and showed quite a bit of promise?

Now, all of a sudden, 98% of Floridians are out there pouncing on anything sold with the name Bosh, James, or Wade on it.

Oh, and then there was this little ditty I spotted…

Rubbing salt in an opened wound much?

If the type “Just Do It” is in reference to what I’m calling the “Cleveland Screw-Job”, then congrats, Mr. James. You “Did it.”

I’m Just Sayin’

16 07 2010

Okay, I can understand Miami Heat fans messing up on greeting Dwayne Wade as he got off the plane a few weeks back because they confused the terminals, but, what was the excuse this time when I arrived in the sunshine state? Where were all my adoring and loyal fans at Orlando International Airport? It’s cool, y’all. I’ll let this slide, I guess. Just make sure you give me a proper goodbye. Thanks.

So, with that aside, let’s get down to business.

The LeBron-A-Thon Continues

Day two in Florida and still no signs of the three-headed ego monster.

Hey, you would think with egos bigger than the state of Florida itself, LeBron, Wade and Bosh would be extremely easy to find. It should, in my opinion, be like opening up a Where’s Waldo book to a page consisting of a dinosaur, a sandwich, and a ballooned picture of the stripe-shirted nerd.

Fear not. My hunt for the “Despicable Three” is not over. I hope to take this mission to south beach next week if needed, and possibly kill two birds with one stone and take in a Marlins game. Keep your fingers crossed.

I’ll be back later with more on my search, and some baseball thoughts.

After Some Thought…

9 07 2010

Okay, we all, for the most part, saw or heard about LeBron James’ free agent decision that was made on live national television last night, and that the self-proclaimed “king” is headed to South Beach to join Wade and Bosh as the new “big three” in the NBA.

Hmm… Why am I being so nice about this?

Let’s get straight to the point.

What exactly is LeBron James the king of? He’s won zero titles, he’s accomplished a fraction of what Michael Jordan and Kobe have, oh, and, did I mention he hasn’t won a title yet?

How disgusting was it that James had all these kids behind him in the stands- kids that idolized the guy and saw him as a God and a hero, only to break their hearts and pick the Heat over his home state team? Seriously, how low is that?

Then James went on about “loyalty”. Wait. What? Loyalty? Are you kidding me? What is this egotistical joke-show loyal to? Loyal to his own brand? Loyal to the pact that he made with Bosh and Wade during the Olympics?

Somewhere in the team USA locker room in 2008, these three got together and made some secret pact to join forces when they hit the end of their contracts. This whole “courting” process was just a colossal waste of time and money because the three of them always knew what was going to happen, and where they were going to play.

They lead every one of us on this wild goose chase and we bought into every last moment of it. Essentially, we were hustled.

So, obviously when James spoke of loyalty, it had nothing to do with staying in Cleveland, or giving back to the fans who supported him, or even staying loyal to the game of basketball; in the end, LBJ was loyal to his ego, and the two other egotistical jerkoffs that will share the court with him starting next season.

Hey, boys, try not to break your ankles next year by tripping over your own egos.

After the conference, they showed former fans setting fire to their LeBron jerseys. A little harsh? Not in the slightest. I say it’s letting the guy off easy.

To all the former fans of LeBron James, and Chris Bosh, and to those who are still loyal to the Cleveland Cavaliers, and Toronto Raptors, I say this…

LeBron James and Chris Bosh shit on your respective cities, basketball organizations, and more importantly, your loyalty to them. In the end, they don’t care about you, or these organizations (Heat execs, you better take note sooner, rather than later) no, instead they care about their marketability, egos, and their selfish agendas.

If these two jackasses took the liberty to shit all over you, and your team, then in turn, it only makes sense to return the favor.

Let’s face it, the old LBJ and Bosh jerseys are as worthless as half-ply toilet paper, so, I say, if they shit all over you, you should use those jerseys as pooper-scoopers when walking your dog, or even in an event where you feel toilet paper is worth more than those jerseys, wipe your ass with them, box ’em up, and ship ’em out to Miami.

If the Miami Heat wanted these guys that badly, then they have to just to deal with the backlash.

Somewhere, NBA commissioner David Stern shaking his head and pondering how this could have happened. He’s probably feeling the heat right now and coming to the realization that there’s a consensus that the NBA is now the biggest joke out there.

It’s Coming

9 07 2010

I’m coming for you, LeBron!

My thoughts on LeBron’s “Decision” coming later today.

Remember the game NBA Jam for Sega Genesis? Three players on each team, and you could put the “big head” cheat code in. Well, that’s an accurate idea of the Miami Heat next season.

Get Out There and Vote Votto

5 07 2010

Joey Votto was robbed of his All-Star spot at first base, and it’s up to you to fix this colossal mistake.  Somewhere, there’s probably a box of ballots (probably out in Florida) that mysteriously went missing.  I totally get that people are all for equality, freedom and rights, but, last I checked, robots weren’t entitled to such  privileges.  Yeah, I’m looking at you, Pujols.

So let’s make things right, and send Joey Votto, a guy who deserves this spot more than Pujols, to the All-Star game.

Vote Votto!

This message has been brought to you by the “Vote Votto” camp.  Fuck Albert Pujols.  Yep, I said it.